I’m going to die.

So are you.

This isn’t a newsflash. We all know that we’ll die someday, but we’re very good at not thinking about it most of the time.

What brought my death to mind recently is that two of my heart valves are not working properly and I’m going to have open-heart surgery to replace/repair them. And during the discussion with my surgeon, the odds of severe consequences, including death, was mentioned.

In addition, during the discussion of the pros and cons of valve replacement using mechanical vs. animal tissue valves, the doctor said that although the animal tissue variety don’t last as long (10-15 years) and could need to be replaced by a catheter-based procedure in the future, I probably wouldn’t outlive them. I’m sure he meant that last comment as a mitigation of the “con” of the lower durability of the valve, but what I heard was: “You’re probably going to die in less than 12 years!”.

Am I afraid of dying?

Well, my initial, emotional, reaction is: “YES!” I don’t want to die. I want to continue creating and appreciating creative solutions to problems, and cleverness in general. I want to enjoy beauty and humor. I have people who depend on me whom I want to support for as long as I can, and others whose company and interactions I enjoy and would like to keep enjoying. I’m curious to see where technology goes, particularly AI, space travel, and virtual reality (I’d like a holodeck please).

My more philosophical answer is: “No”. I’m afraid of suffering or living without the ability to enjoy life as a dignified human being, but I’m not afraid of a world without me living in it. I’m not afraid of the 1950’s, when I wasn’t alive; so why should I be afraid of the 2050’s, when I (probably) won’t be alive?

And you will not be seeing any deathbed conversions from me. There is no new theological evidence, so there’s no good reason to update my position that the God hypothesis is a bad explanation for anything.

I don’t agree with some people that limited lifespans make life better, more valuable. I think it would be better if they were longer, even indefinitely long, and some “people” might achieve that. But I (probably) won’t be among them. In any case, it’s clear to me that the dragon is bad!

I do agree that thinking about death can serve as a good reminder that since our lifetimes are limited, we should cherish the time we have, and avoid squandering it. So, I’ll try to be better at that. Maybe you should, too.